Bringing about the Endtimes

The way I see it, there are two approaches to advancing our planet/universe towards apocalypse.

The first is systematic; it includes (most notably), but is not limited to: intent in bringing about religious prophecy and corporate and/or governmental misuse of resources and destruction of other resources (ie fossil fuels;the atmosphere).

The second is entirely local. This includes destroying structured objects in one's vicinity, be it intentionally or unintentionally (ie glasses [both corrective glasses and containers], furniture, lamps, invasive plant species, phones, bars, etc. note: parts of one's own body included), as well as creating immense amounts of noise and/or destroying lipids/hydrocarbons to fuel frenetic and unnecessary movement. Alcohol is involved.

This distinction is very important. You see, as one inclined to think that heat death is actually that most likely end to the known universe, I am obligated to cop to the fact that my own behavior is contributing to (if not directly bringing about) massive increases in entropy within my local environs. This can only be more quickly bringing about our grim thermodynamic fate. While I recognize this, the reader must understand that I am really only making the best use of the lack of entropy that has been given to me. This can not be said for those guilty of the first sort, who are explicitly misusing resources. Secondly, the true impact is orders of magnitude smaller. Consider that these kinds of local entropy increase impact one's self (read: body) much more than the planet, let along the universe.

So, all you rockers and rollers out there are justified. Despite all that sober, conservative America tries to tell you, you are actually contributing much less to the death of our universe than they are (and doing so much more stylishly, if I may say so).