Inspired by RG's last post:

Many have, through time immemorial, wished to be able to translate the seemingly verbal calls of the nonhuman beasts that populate earth and share our land and resources. The payoff is seemingly infinite, that is, until you start translating.

That is right! I have uncoded all those hidden meanings! Now this may be less exciting than one might hope, so I recommend that last post by RG for explanation. Anyway, the following brief exclamations encompass roughly 99% of the animal communications that I have meticulously translated:

1.) Fuck you!
2.) Fuck you, asshole!
3.) Get the fuck out of here!
4.) Get the fuck out of here, this is my shit! I will murder you!
5.) I am not what you think I am! (alternatively: I am not here!) BE CONFUSED SO THAT I CAN MURDER YOU!
6.) I will murder you anyway!
7.) You should fuck me.
8.) I want to fuck you!
8.1a) I am going to fuck you!
9.) That motherfucker looks tasty.
9.132a) You guys go left, I'll go right. Lets murder and eat that motherfucker!
10:) OH HOLY SHIT MOTHER FUCKER GOD DAMN COCK ASS HOLY SHIT I NEED TO GET OUT OF HERE HOLY SHIT THAT MOTHERFUCKER IS TRYING TO EAT ME GODAMMIT GUYS LETS ALL GET THE GODDAMN HELL OUT OF THIS FUCKING PLACE HOLY SHIT WE ARE ALL FUCKED! FUCK!

Yup, that's it. 10 things. That is all they say. Ever. Pretty vulger, isn't it. Animals are not so cute.

Why should you beleive me? Because I am the authority, dammit. And I have a blog. It is my pulpit. Listen!