An Open Letter to My Roommate

I sent this to a roommate recently. I thought it deserved to be shared.

Dearest Roommate (The Teadrop that Hangs Inside My Heart Forever),

Thank you again for your gift of creamy, buttery, constitutional law goodness. You have stolen my heart.

I dream about you, at night, sometimes, and, other times, during the day, my thoughts stolen by visions of the sweet velvety skin on the back of your neck, and your habit of clawing at your own nose with such veracity even the least perspicacious of observers can note that, one day, in a comet of Oedipal ichor, your nose will fly bodily off your face, in what will be a hilarious and horrible conundrum.

But I will be there to pick up the pieces. And lovingly sew them back onto your stunning visage, dear roommate. Your eyeglasses will once again be able to rest fitfully on the herculean curve of your nose, set so carefully by god on the center of your dear, sweet, red head.

Always and Forever,
--Jemini, your lover.

P.S. I drank your gin.