Good News!

A friend of mine used to live in my apartment. Last year. He currently lives with a different friend of mine. Let that sink in.

So, let's call this friend MDK. Why? Because it sorta sounds like what we call him anyway (which is Pen15).

I receive mail for this gentleman from time to time. Usually, it is advertisements for various credit instruments, or, sometimes, bills. Those are always fun to deliver.

However, about two weeks ago, I received an envelope, addressed to him, written in fine women's handwriting. Sunday's best handwriting, actually. So, of course, I assumed it was a personal letter and I shouldn't F with it.

Time passes. Finals cause abeyances of all sorts. We play phone tag. Email tag. All the types of tag that are not fun and none of them involve that one pole being 'base' and there was no electricity.

So, yesterday, we cut to the chase. We are on the phone, and he tells me, nearly verbatim, "Okay, open the thing up. If it is horribly personal, you are going to pretend to ignore it." I would have answered, except my mouth was too stuffed full of laughter to form any words.

For, you see, he got news. Good news. Actually, (depending on your perspective) Great News! Well, actually, it was Good News! The news being, of course, that Jesus Loves You Too!.

To make the long short of it, Jehova's Witnesses thought my friend needed to know about Jesus.* Silly goyim. So, in essence, I was keeping this bloody thing in my room thinking it was some sort of sacred covenant written by a beautiful woman, to my friend, and I would be a reprehensible lout for opening it and discovering the horrible secrets it held. In another sense, I guess it is a sort of sacred covenant, just not the type that MDK was looking for.

So, as a rule, I'm opening all his mail from now on.

*No offense to anyone. JWs should keep on truckin on truckin on, just make sure you get your addresses right.