There was once a samurai named Musashi. He was of fabled ability, even at a young age, repeatedly besting opponents in single katana combat. He was also a poet and a gifted painter.
Once, when on a boat at a river crossing, a young guy in the boat says, "Hey, you are Musashi! I challenge you to a duel." Musashi thought about it, then said, "Hop out at that little island in the middle of the river." The kid, excited to defeat the aging Musashi, leapt out of the boat onto the small tuft of land poking above the surface of the river, and, immediately, Musashi pushed the boat off from the island.
"You lose," said Musashi.
So, then the kid, named Ichi, pulled out his celphone.
Heyyyyy Akiko... Remember that samurai I was telling you about? ... Yeah, Musashi... that's right... oh no no I'm fine I'm fine... um... well... no... not exactly.
Well.... it is kind of hard to explain. No, he isn't dead.
Look, does your sister Kyoko still have that canoe?
... It's a long story.
So, the question is, in a society where one sleeps on the floor of one's room, where do you go when your wife kicks you out? There are no couches, so you have to rule that out. And it can't really get much lower than getting kicked off of sleeping on your own floor.
This is why they invented Seppuku.
"Hey Akira? Yeah... yeah it's me. The old lady kicked me off the floor. ... Yep. So you'll bring your own sword? Great see you in twenty."
Typically, you would don a white robe, kneel, meditate, write a short poem, then gut yourself with a dagger, while your best friend stood behind you, ready to decapitate you before you made any unmanly noises or facial expressions. However, even in feudal japan, you know there were guys like me.
"I am ready Akira."
*Keichi starts to disembowl himself*
"Hey Keichi...."
*Grunts* "Yes... Akira...."
*Fart*
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