I have just done my laundry. A truly arduous ordeal. Do you have any idea how hard it is to get blood out of my green velvet doublet? Or the matching purple silk lederhosen? Let's just say that was one manhunt where a certain someone's costumery stole the show.
Needless to say, in my constant quest for efficiency, I have struggled to maximize the time between consecutive laundry days, while still retaining a modicum of hygiene and a large helping of style.
Here are several techniques:
1. You can never have too many socks.
2. This goes doubly true for boxers.
3. Sweaters do not get dirty the first time you wear them.
4. Neither do jeans.
5. Spillage does not mean your clothes are dirty either, as there are several factors to consider: what is the liquid in question? viscosity? will it stain? if so, how long till the stain sets? if not, do you care? will it smell? will it cause fabric to stiffen?
6. Know where your roommates sock drawers are.
7. Learn the fine art of 'throwing-in'; as in, "Hey [roommate], I see you are doing laundry. Mind if I throw in a pair of socks?"
8. Be a clothes horse. I am one. Having a tremendous amount of clothing not only makes it easy to be stylish, it minimizes time spent in the laundry room.
9. Be scented. Men, it is called 'cologne' and 'deodorant,' and judicious use of both not only enhances your attractiveness, but can mask the fact your jeans are soaked in a fine curry.
And finally, the coup de grace, the ultimate test of maximal efficiency:
10. If, on laundry day, you are not forced to take off the very clothing you are wearing and wash it as well, requiring you to do your laundry (semi) nude, you are not doing it right.
Excuse me. I have to go put a few things in the dryer / terrify some coeds.
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