Five Phases

There are five phases of emotion that one goes through in dealing with tragedy. Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.

I have finals on wednesday. Currently, I am deeply into stage three, bargaining.

For instance, last night, in what was a totally warranted display of testosterone, I assaulted my roommate with a bokken. He had it coming. Unfortunately, he got it all on film. Unfortunately, I also managed to destroy a ceiling light fixture.

The bargain, however, is as follows. Clearly, objects mounted to the ceiling sometimes precipitate at great velocity. My aim is to claim that said light fixture fell of its own accord. However, the damage inflicted to it by yours truly is not really in accord with such an event. So, in order to convince landlordlady that the object in question did, in fact, fall, and nearly kill us, I have to smash it into further pieces.

So, essentially, while everyone else I know is studying at the library, I am methodically pulverizing a glass ceiling fixture in the hopes it will save me about twenty dollars. I bet you have never heard such a good explanation for otherwise inexplicable behavior.