Ad Hominen Attacks Are an Underrated Art

Everyone refers to ad hominem attacks derisively. They seem to think that this form, nay, this art, of argument 'distracts from the real issue at hand,' or something like that. But then these same moralists tell us from their ivory towers: "consider the source," and "you can't believe anything you read." They want it both ways, and they don't want you to have it either way! Dammit, I say we can all have it both ways!

Of course, if you had listened to me in the first place when I told you that these people are a bunch of softy liberal pink-o flip-floppers who purple heart was won in Vietnam because of lame superficial wounds, and whose mothers prostituted themselves out to the refer-smoking counter culture nihilists of the early jazz movement, well then you would never have bothered to listen to them in the first place and this whole discussion would be unnecessary.

I wouldn't have even had to mention the fact that they all used steroids once, and in college they were womanizing frat-boy losers who ate, drank, and slept on the beer spattered bare-wood floors of their disgusting frat house, and they know nothing about basic oral hygiene and I was behind one of them in the line at a coffee shop one time and he was a total dick to the girl behind the counter for no reason at all and thought he was the shit and so fucking cool. But he wasn't. He was a huge tool, and everyone knew it. Especially when he got in his hummer and tried to burn out on his way out of there while texting some other douche-bag on his Iphone. Prick.

And did I mention that they are all from Massachusetts?

See how much easier it is now? You never have to even bother to listening to any of these people again. I have saved you time and energy, as well as resolving the issue and making you a better debater.