One of the great things about being flora, as opposed to fauna (Theo: did I get that one right? As I recall, you are MegaFauna) is the ability to have sex completely apart from your corporeal body. To wit: trees have sex through exchange of male and female bits (read: naughty bits) that are floating about in the air. When this happens, it is quite, quite probable that I will inhale some of these sex offenders, and they will continue to copulate deep within the recesses of my skull.
Though one may think I would be overjoyed at this depraved orgy that is occurring within my own bodily limits, I am, in fact, quite displeased. For, you see, it is the cause of horrible, horrible allergies. Alarmingly, just like human sex, tree sex causes a long series of bloody, foetid sneezes and deep self loathing.
SO, I have planned revenge.
Step a: Buy a large drill.
Step 2: Buy Maple syrup.
Step d: Mix maple syrup with an even mix of KY. You heard me.
Step REVENGE: Take drill to tree. Lube up. Go to town.
Revenge is mine.
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