I Am Opposed to Late Closing Bars

See, when bars are open late, it is just too easy to drink all night. Anyone can do it. For instance, in New York City, bars are open until 4:00 am. That's right, all you need to drink until 4:00 is a credit card. Anyone can do it. Where I come from, you need to be a real pro to drink until 4:00 am. It takes planning, hard work, and execution.

You need to stockpile booze, and stash it somewhere. At a house if it is cold, or in a bush or shrubbery during the summer. Then, when the bars close at 1:00 and all those 'weekend drinkers' are going home to go to bed, you and your badass friends can keep the party alive.

Especially because liquor stores close at 11:00 pm. You need to decide that you are drinking all night. And do it before you go out. In a place like New York, it just sort of happens. You are not even paying attention at all, and suddenly: "Hey it's 4:00. Gosh, I had better go home."

That is not how it is supposed to be. Drinking until sunrise is supposed to be an accomplishment. It is supposed to be a feat of stamina and dedication. And cities like New York just hand it out to any old chump with some surplus income. It is a shame. A damn shame.