We were called 'Take the Money and Run'* and we rocked awesome. Our CDs can be found in the 'Alternative Funk Jazz PsychoMetal' section of your local record shop. You probably don't remember our biggest hit: a tender love ballad called "Julia (Step up Off My Bitch Motherfucker)." It peaked at number 478 on the Billboard Top 5,000.
We also made a video that aired on MTV like 3 times. You probably don't remember that either, but it is actually pretty well known in the business. You see, we had a sex scene in the video that pioneered that slow motion flying wire suspension technique later made famous in "The Matrix" and "Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon." It was stylistic and damn sexy, let me tell you.
In the mid 90s as grunge fell out of favor, we were primed to sweep the nation and truly get huge. Unfortunately, it was about this time that my bandmates noticed that all the songs I had written where about killing people and taking their money. I thought it was the theme of the band, what with the name and all, and they say to write what is on your mind. But I guess the graphically violent and vindictive nature of my songs concerned them. So they held an intervention.
The intervention was pretty ugly, so i will spare you the details. Suffice to say, at the end there was no more "Take the Money and Run," and I was a couple hundred dollars richer. I thought it was an appropriate, if not ironic, way for that whole situation to be (shall we say) resolved.
I haven't seen those guys for years. I wonder what they are up to these days.
*Note: apologies to any band that actually has this name.
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